Yoga Night

I really am a novice at this, but the few times that I've done, it was incredibly relaxing for me and this is another important component of my happiness year.....so off I went tonight to get my calm on.  Twice a week I go to a retirement community's wellness center for this basic yoga class.  Last week I was stuck under the one ceiling light they keep on in the room, so this week I was determined to get a better spot.   I rushed in first and found a place in the middle of the room, perfect.  I grabbed my mat, my pad, my two blocks, my blanket and my belt - whew, threw off my tattered unc sweatshirt and sat facing the mirror.  Cross legged, shoulders back, I thought that was a yoga-ish pose while I waited for class to begin.  On either side of me were women approx. in their 70s.  So hard not to be self conscious.   Instructor likes to start off with belly breathing, we lie down, pillow up, and breathe with focus on our bellies enlarging and pushing in.  Picture a puppy in deep sleep......with his paw palms up of course.  The lady to my right was the sweetest thing, with the worst coordination.  She laughed at herself though, made the strangest jokes and he often had to tell her to sssshhhhh!  At some point during downward dog I realized I had terrible gas.  Fart in sanskrit is yoga.  Anyway, I thought I should try to silently allow myself to pass it but then thought better of THAT idea....needless to say I created a few of my own contortions in order to avoid anything unpleasant happening.  Next to me I notice the old lady shaking her head, I get nervous but then realize that she is only perplexed because she cannot hold her left leg bent while turning to her right with her hands behind her back and her diaphram lifted as her hips remain square.  Don't forget to breathe! Then during warrior pose my iphone begins to vibrate across the floor, I am throwing the javelin intently, my arms are poised, I will not look down or acknowledge the evil technology that has put us all in this mess.  All of our stress comes from our core, the more tightly we hold our ribs together, the higher our blood pressure, the more our muscles become tense and unhappy.  It's a fact.  I must allow a river of peace to run through me and exhale the toxins out.  I bring my head down towards my knees.  Smell my feet.  Namaste.